A Review of Deep Mentoring by Randy D. Reese and Robert Loane
Deep Mentoring by Randy D. Reese and Robert Loane is a wonderful resource for anyone who desires to go deeper in spiritual formation with other adult learners. “Noticing, learning, and guiding are the three macrothemes” of the book (p. 223).
Primarily, the authors advocate a way of mentoring that invests in others, which begins with “paying attention to and honoring the good work God is already doing in people’s lives” (p. 21). They walk the reader through the four phases of life, which they identify as foundation, preparation, contribution, and multiplication. Finally, they suggest that following Jesus’ way of leadership is deepening, particularizing, hospitable, and patient.
Part One: Paying Attention to Others
The first part of the book discusses the need to pay attention to others. This requires attentiveness and a willingness to firstly notice what is going on in one’s own life, and then also the life of the person to whom we are listening. This requires “becoming ‘detectives of divinity’” (p. 46) by listening well, asking good open-ended questions, and remaining curious while in dialogue with others. The authors also insist that, since “God is at work among us,” (p. 47) we must pay attention to the good work that he is already doing in the lives of the people sitting before us. There is an implicit assumption that the Spirit is actively moving, guiding, and breathing into every individual person on this earth.
In paying attention, we listen to the story of our own lives and the stories of others. This narrative approach avoids our culture’s dominant way of relating to others by analyzing the other person’s usefulness to us. Instead, we seek to simply listen; the invitation is to be with others in the telling of their story.
The authors state that, “If we believe that God is coauthoring our stories, then reflecting on the processes through which the Spirit has worked in our lives can facilitate a better understanding of what God may be up to in the rewriting of our stories” (p. 56). As we seek to understand our own stories and then seek to understand the stories of others, we are deeply aware of the presence of the Spirit within and among us and we embody the presence of God as we listen to others’ stories.
Part Two: A Timeline Approach
The second part of the book walks the reader through a timeline approach to mentoring via the four phases of spiritual development. A full chapter is dedicated to each phase.
Phase 1: Foundation
The first phase, foundation, identifies the beginnings of a person’s story, including their spiritual traditions, family of origin, social habits, and cultural context. We begin to understand that “the leadership we provide essentially flows out of who we are” (p. 78).
Time spent in understanding our foundation allows us to notice how and where God ‘showed up’ in our early years. In the words of the authors, “If we trust that God is intimately concerned with who we are and who we are becoming, then we can have tremendous hope that the foundational chapters of our lives, as well as those to come, are intended for our maturity” (p. 93).
Phase 2: Preparation
The second phase, preparation, identifies a deeper awareness of giftedness and developing the skills necessary to enhance those gifts. It is where we recognize our callings – our primary calling to follow Jesus and love God and neighbour, our specific vocational calling to serve out of who we have been uniquely created and redeemed to be, and our immediate calling to be responsible with the present demands and tasks of our lives (p. 100).
In Christian mentoring, this requires careful attention to how we are growing in character (integrity), obedience to God, and faithfulness. This phase is a time of trial and error, during which we explore our giftedness while developing an attitude of submission, a pursuit of holiness and integrity, and a deepened dependency on God and other believers.
The authors identify five learning challenges that we ought to pay attention to in this phase (p. 111-120):
1) Recognizing our attitude toward submission to authority,
2) Discovering our giftedness and leadership style;
3) Developing an awareness of our expansion of influence and power;
4) Paying attention to our expansion of faith through life’s challenges;
5) Acknowledging our growth in self-awareness of social habits and family of origin patterns.
Phase 3: Contribution
The third phase, contribution, is “a person’s most highly productive and effective period of service and influence” (p. 125). There is a recognition of the Spirit’s work in shaping us toward greater focus of service and greater fit within our giftedness, being, calling, style, and passion. The goal of life or ministry shifts from doing to being, and our doing flows out of our being.
Here the authors dedicate space to the boundary times of life, which they identify as “a heightened time of learning” during periods of transition (p. 136). We need to be adept at recognizing these disruptive boundary times in a person’s life in order to listen well and ask appropriate questions to assist them in moving forward as they wait on God during these periods of uncertainty.
These boundary times involve:
1) Looking back to process critical questions and help people to embrace the past they have left behind,
2) Looking upward to prayerfully seek God’s guidance and surrender to his provision and presence, and
3) Looking ahead to a new direction or way of life.
Phase 4: Multiplication
The fourth phase is multiplication, otherwise known as finishing well. This phase invites us to deeper growth and maturity as we continue to follow Jesus. “We learn to lead strategically by tending to the deep work within us while at the same time tending much more intentionally to the development of others” (p. 147).
The focus in this phase shifts toward identifying and developing others as leaders. The mentee becomes the mentor, though the work of learning is never complete. A developmental mindset is required as we cultivate a deeper love of God, a desire to learn, and a life together with others. In this phase, there is an understanding that “none of us are finished products. We are all in process. The more we recognize and identify the processes in our own and others’ lives the more we will participate with God in the development of self and others” (p. 150).
Part Three: Imitating the Way of Christ
In the third part of the book, the authors turn to the example of Christ, who came alongside people and walked with them while he walked on earth. Jesus’ way of being with others is described as deepening, particularizing, hospitable, and patient (p. 180-186).
As we, too, seek to mentor others as Christ did, we aim to invite others to greater spiritual depth in every area of their lives. We imitate the Master, who exposed hearts and invited deeper reflection by asking questions rather than offering direct answers.
Like Jesus, we uniquely notice others and recognize that their story and giftedness is particular; we can’t take a one-size-fits-all approach to discipleship.
We also offer open, safe, hospitable spaces where others can enter and feel cared for and respected.
Lastly, we acknowledge that this work of discipleship is long and slow. It requires great patience, just as Jesus was greatly patient with Simon Peter as he misstepped and misspoke time and again. We are apprentices of Jesus, and therefore, we seek to imitate his vastly countercultural methods of discipleship.
Five Dynamics of a Spiritual Mentoring Relationship
In the final chapters of the book, the authors describe five dynamics of a spiritual mentoring relationship:
Attraction and initiation (the art of beginning well): The relationship begins with an interest in someone’s faith and life and is prayerfully initiated around a clearly stated purpose and duration. Usually the mentee initiates the relationship, but the authors “would love to see more mature people seeking out those persons they sense God leading them to invest in their formation” (p. 191).
Relationship (developing trust and intimacy): The mentor must be able to cultivate an environment of hospitality and integrity, which is done through listening well, being present and attentive to the mentee, asking curious questions, and prayerfully discerning the presence and work of God in the mentee’s life.
Responsiveness (a spirit of teachability): The mentee must be willing to learn from the mentor in order for the relationship to flourish. The mentor may recognize areas of resistance in the mentee and, depending on the level of trust in the relationship, may gently question the mentee’s lack of responsiveness.
Accountability (exercises of grace): As the relationship builds more trust, the mentor will be able to see and speak truth to the mentee (and vice versa) more openly. The authors suggest that “a good mentor or friend will become increasingly aware that particular disciplines or directive will be needed to spur further growth” (p. 197).
Empowerment (the goal of mentoring): The mentoring relationship is always intentional, and the mentor performs the work of leading while the mentee is being led. Primarily, mentoring is “an effort to assist others in discovering their unique voice, their amazement in who God is, who they are, and what God has invited them to be about” (p. 198).
Deep Mentoring is a profound book by Reese and Loane drawn heavily from the work of Dr. J. Robert Clinton as well as several prominent spiritual formation leaders of recent decades. Their emphasis on paying attention to and noticing the work of God in the lives of others seems so simple – almost too simple.
However, when we look at the life and work of Jesus, we see that this was his preferred method of discipleship. It was slow, particular, deep, and ever so patient. Jesus recognized where the Spirit was working in the lives of the people with whom he rubbed shoulders and he listened to their stories. He asked questions, prompting them to deeper reflection and repentance. He walked alongside them even as they continued to doubt and ask questions.
If this way of discipleship and mentoring others was good enough for Jesus, then it ought to be more than good enough for us.
I especially appreciated the narrative approach that Reese and Loane took in their theme of paying attention to the lives of others. We all have stories to tell; the work of mentoring simply listens and identifies elements of the story as we listen.
In addition, we recognize that none of us have completed the work of growing, learning, and developing further our spiritual maturity. God isn’t done with us yet as long as we breathe this air and walk this earth. This is hopeful (we have hope that we will continue to draw closer to the image of Christ) as well as humbling (we recognize that we do not complete the work in us, but we are continually being transformed by the Spirit as we hold our lives out to him).
As we live and walk intentionally with others as either mentees or mentors, I pray that we will seek to more closely imitate our Master as we apprentice under his authority. Deep Mentoring is a wonderful resource for anyone who wishes to delve more deeply into mentoring and discipling in the slow, walking-alongside-others kind of way of Jesus.
Reese, Randy D. and Robert Loane. Deep Mentoring: Guiding Others on Their Leadership Journey. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Press, 2012.
