Is Infertility a Curse?
We’ve all heard it: “Children are such a blessing from the Lord.” In sermons preached on the virtues of parenthood, children are upheld as the greatest blessing. Baby announcements declare, “Every good and perfect gift is from above,” and “Children are a heritage from the Lord,” quoting James 1:17 and Psalm 127:3, respectively.
Now, I’m not arguing that children aren’t, in fact, a blessing. My concern (and, if I’m entirely honest, my cynicism) arises from how the word “blessing” is tossed around in Christian circles, as if the one who was blessed is divinely rewarded for upright behaviour while the one who was not blessed is left wondering if they have done something wrong and are being punished, or worse, cursed.
Because curses are the opposite of blessings, right?
So if I’m not “blessed” with children, then I must be cursed… right?
There are so, so many theological implications of this statement:
If I am cursed with infertility, then I have done something wrong to deserve this curse.
If I am cursed with infertility, then there is something fundamentally broken or evil within me that prevents conception and childbearing.
If I am cursed with infertility, then I must pray harder and be holier to make God give me a child.
At best, this theology paints God as a disciplinarian; at worst, a malevolent God who delights in torturing His creation. It depicts us as desperate victims trying to earn the approval of God and failing again and again. Unfortunately, this is exactly the view of God some of us have implicitly taken on, often because of well-meaning platitudes offered by friends and family.
“I’ll pray for you to conceive,” translates into, “The cause of your infertility must be spiritual, therefore there must be some sin in your life that is not dealt with.”
“When will I become a grandma?” means, “You are not enough unless you produce a child to further the family’s legacy.”
“You’d better get on that,” in reference to having children implies that you just haven’t been trying hard enough.
Let’s break down this implicit theology and see if it holds up.
If I am cursed with infertility, then I have done something wrong to deserve this curse.
Infertility as a curse for disobedience is not upheld in the Bible, as a rule.
There are very few times in the Bible where God invokes infertility as a curse (see Genesis 20, 2 Samuel 6). None of the Biblical matriarchs (Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel) in their decades of infertility are attributed a lack of human character or are described as sinful in their behaviour. By all representations, these women are upright, holy women. In the New Testament, Zechariah and Elizabeth are described as “righteous.” (Luke 1:6)
These holy, righteous saints did nothing wrong, and yet they were infertile.
Also, remember the blind man who Jesus healed after affirming that the man’s blindness had nothing to do with sin. Instead, Jesus offers an alternate explanation for the man’s blindness, “He was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.” (John 9:3)
Might there be an alternate explanation for your infertility, too?
If I am cursed with infertility, then there is something fundamentally broken or evil within me that prevents conception and childbearing.
When God created human beings, he looked at them in wonder and said, “It is very good.” (Gen 1:31) These beautiful creatures were made in His very image. Of course, it was very good!
Some authors argue that, at the dawn of time, infertility was God’s original design for his created human beings. The words uttered to the woman, “In pain you will bring forth children,” may be interpreted to mean that the very act of childbearing would be a source of great sorrow to women and was not part of the original Edenic state (Candida and Moss, Reconceiving Infertility).
Indeed, if you look at the history of civilization, women have borne the brunt of sorrow associated with infertility, miscarriage, and infant loss.
Here’s a little history lesson:
From the very beginning of civilization, the singular purpose of women was to marry and breed heirs to further their husband’s legacy. Women were viewed as property, were often measured by their projected or actual reproductive status, and were used to produce children until 1) they could not physically produce anymore due to menopause or illness, or 2) they died in childbirth.
Of course, infertility was considered entirely the woman’s fault, so male infertility was socially nonexistent. If a woman could not conceive, she risked losing her financial security and social status if her husband decided to divorce her. Quite simply, she could be put out on the street for failing to produce a child, where her only option was to turn to prostitution - another male-driven, sex-dominated, abusive situation in which she had no control.
Even today, though protected by marital laws and human rights here in North America, many women still suffer from marital rape, prostitution, and the burden of childbearing and childrearing in impoverished conditions.
What a sorry lot for women.
However, the poor treatment of women and children does not reflect the way of Christ. Instead, it reflects a broken, shattered world - broken by sin and separation from God’s goodness.
As Christians, we believe that all of life is sacred.
The way of Christ turns our values around children and conceiving upside down. In His eyes, you are no more or less valued if you have children. In his eyes, all people are loved and valued just as they are because every person reflects His image.
“The image of God exists in people no matter what they do with their lives.” (Gushee and Stassen, Kingdom Ethics, 166)
Your life is sacred and beautiful, even if you never bear children. Humanity’s broken views of family and fertility do not define your worth.
If I am cursed with infertility, then I must pray harder and be holier to make God give me a child.
From the examples above, we know that infertility in the Bible was not due to a curse or individual sin.
Rather, conception is often described as “God opening her womb.” (Genesis 29:31, 30:22, Isaiah 66:9) Several theologians suggest that all wombs are, in their default state, closed. God, in His divine sovereignty, opens a woman’s womb so that she may conceive regardless of whether she has conceived before. Every single conception requires active divine intervention (see the recommended reading list below for more on this topic).
The women and men listed above were holy. They were not perfect human beings, but it is very clear that no amount of “righteousness” in their behaviour or prayers would invoke God’s divine opening of the womb until He was ready for it.
In this sense, children are a blessing; they are an unmerited gift from God.
There is no amount of planning, praying, fasting, or preparation that will make God grant you a child. He will do so on His own terms, in His timing.
This still begs the question, “Why am I not granted an opening of my womb, then? How does God pick and choose whose womb to open?”
That, my friend, I do not know, and it grieves me.
I do know this:
God created you good, exactly as you are.
You are not broken, deficient, or less valuable because you cannot conceive.
God decides if and when we have babies and no amount of planning, plotting, or praying will speed up that timeline.
In light of these things, I’m going to make a bold statement here, one that you may disagree with. But I will say it nonetheless.
Children will not complete you.
You are a complete person just as you are.
You are valued. You are loved. You are whole.
You are wanted just as you are.
Infertility is not a curse; it is the journey that God has called some of us to. It’s not a mistake or even a Plan B. It’s God’s Plan A for your life. That’s the hard truth.
You are blessed, my friend.
You are blessed because you have been gifted the Greatest Blessing, the God who lives among and within you. You are created in His very image and called to reflect His image into the world as you step courageously in faith every single day. You are loved fiercely and known deeply by the God who calls you by name.
In courage and in love,
Katelyn
Recommended reading:
Moss, Candida R. and Joel S. Baden. Reconceiving Infertility: Biblical Perspectives on Procreation & Childlessness. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2015.
Baden, Joel. “God Opened Her Womb – The Biblical Conception of Fertility.” The Torah.com. Accessed March 9, 2022. https://www.thetorah.com/article/god-opened-her-womb-the-biblical-conception-of-fertility
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